Concrete vs. Abstract...

As I study to become a commodities broker, I'm finding that there are more details that will drive me insane, if nothing else. I'm finding that I'm a severely logical person. I am concrete. There is nothing abstract about my thinking whatsoever. I remember at one point in my college career, I took a personality survey. The result said I am a concrete sequential thinker. My guess would be that a commodities broker would not be on the list of potential careers for me. ;-)

Bob tries to explain things to me. He does a great job; however, trading is not a science, so any kind of explanation doesn't penetrate my logical brain. He just grins and says positively, "You'll get it."

Physically and mentally, Bob gets stronger everyday. When I look back at last Christmas, Bob is 300% better. He's such a miracle.

It's the loony bin for me...

Let me give you an example of how insane my brain is becoming as a result of the year's events, (rather, over the past 18 months)...My son was making a chicken patty. I said I should make chicken Parmesan for dinner sometime. I proceeded to ask him, "Do you know what kind of cheese is put on chicken Parmesan?" He just looked at me like I had two heads. My next place of residence is the looney bin.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

AND

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR

GREAT TEACHER...

My new found love is the "Sing Off". I believe it might top American Idol. These singers show great talent because they sing with absolutely no music. Amazing!

Bob is a wonderful teacher when it comes to teaching me about commodities. He knows so much. When I ask questions, his eyes light up like mine do when I walk into an antique store. My eyes get the size of saucers.

Me? Over-protecting? ...

I read an article written by a spouse whose wife was 56 years old and had a level 4 ruptured brain aneurysm. The medical staff did not think she was going to survive, and when she did survive, they didn't think she would be able to get out of bed, or if she did get out of bed, she would be quite disabled. Sound familiar?

His wife survived, has no signs of the occurrence, except for weak muscles from laying so long and the need to write on post-it notes for everything to remember to do.

One thing he mentioned in the article that made me think was that since he had to become an advocate for his wife, because the medical staff were basing his wife's treatment as though she was not going to survive or be capable of doing things for herself, he became over-protective. Now, that her recovery is progressing, he continues to unknowingly over-protect, which, doesn't allow her to have trial and error for her to relearn things that may have been forgotten. Like Bob, she has all of her long-term memory; she just needs to write a lot of notes for present day occurrences. (heck, I need to do that!)

Anyhow, what he said made me think that I have a tendency too to be such a "mother hen" now. Maybe, I need to back up and let Bob do for himself. He has also become quite dependant on me. He doesn't leave me out of his sight for very long. I thought it was cute, but, maybe, it's not a good thing for his recovery. I'm his security blanket, I suppose.

BOB PASSED...

Once again, Bob has proven all of the medical professionals wrong. He passed the branch office managers test for brokers! Woo-hoo! OHSU doctors never thought he'd get out of bed. The VA medical staff said he may never go back to work as a broker. I "thumbed" my nose at all of them. Now, I can be the Italian that I've learned to be and flick my hand under my chin and say "Ba-fungle". (That's not how you spell it, but use you're imagination.) In other words...F*** You! Bob said, "All of the above was fun."

I also told Bob, since he passed the test, his memory has returned (because he had to learn and memorize new stuff), he gets no more slack from me when it comes to memory. Therefore, I get diamonds at every holiday, birthday, and special event. :-) NO REMINDERS!

Bob still has some physical strength things to work on, like leg endurance, leg strength, back strength, and leg flexibility.

crossing fingers...

I think I'm going to have to post something on this blog more frequently than once a week. I feel like I'm leaving my readers hanging in midair with nothing to read.

Bob did well this past week. We are studying for him to take a branch manager's test on Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed that he passes. When that is done, then it's time for me to study for the broker's test. I'll take you on that journey. I can tell you, what I've learned so far is that the world evolves around a bunch of people making guesses. Right or wrong, doesn't matter. I think they are educated guesses, but maybe not. I have to learn the "waiting" time length after the guess.

Need a stocking stuffer? Go to www.travel-mobility.com to order a personal medical information book. Fill out the family history, then give the book to a child of yours.

Who me? OCD?...

Wow, I think I went through some type of withdrawals not blogging for one week. After posting just about everyday since May '09, I think a habit was formed. 528 posts! I don't even think I stayed at a job that long. Well, maybe a few days longer, but, not many more. I get bored easily.


Bob and I are getting all of the kinks worked out of partnering as cohorts in Lakes Trading. It's interesting and frustrating to pair up a hoarder of all paperwork with a perfectionist who has OCD tendencies. PICTURE THAT!


I, also, need to be developing things. Answering phones and reading about what's happening in the world is not my "cup of tea". It's also bad reading when there are grammar and punctuation errors. ugh... drives me bonkers :-/

I looked back to see what Bob and I were doing one year ago today. Bob was recovering so well that he was ready to break free from the VA. His eyes weren't working well together though; however, today, they coordinate great. We played strategy games that were quite easy; today, I have to concentrate on challenging games that we play, if I want to come close to winning. "WE'VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY." (Am I bad? Talk about bad writing. I made a mistake in last year's blog. embarrassing)

Subscribe to whatnowjan...

I've come to the conclusion that my t is well enough that I don't need to blog about him on a daily basis. One positive attribute that he has acquired from this event is a very mellow attitude. He has, for the most part, become soft spoken. What I mean is he doesn't use as much profanity, and he doesn't talk as often. (Well, I guess not talking much was a "before" attribute too.)


I believe I will have more to blog about, if I blog on a weekly basis or if I have something that desperately needs said.

Subscribe to whatnowjan to be notified when I blog. (I believe that's how it works.) -> -> -> ->

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

remember Bob in your thankful prayers

We have a lot to be thankful about!

Your challenge...

I happened upon a few websites, like Today Show, Oprah, and Regis and Kelly, who do weddings for "special" people. I believe Bob and I are unique special people, but I felt weird boasting about my commitment to Bob. I thought it should be coming from Bob; however, he doesn't remember, as well as, he doesn't realize the number of blogpage posts that I posted.

So there's a challenge for all of you, my dedicated readers. There have been over 36,000 times my readers have logged into whatnowjan.com. Who would be more perfect to tell their perception of our story than the you, the reader.

Much better day...

Much, much better day today. I felt like I was talking to the "normal" t. (Is t normal? hmm.. debatable) ;-) Bob tried to teach me some basics about commodity trading. His last comment to me was, "You're making this a lot harder than it really is." I need to take the brokers test to become an actual broker in order to help with the clients. (I already have ideas for visual materials to publish. I can't totally transfer away from my instinct to teach.)

Bob actually voluntarily rode the exercise bike today for 20 minutes. We are fixing up a part of our garage to be an exercise area. Think that will motivate us to exercise? Time will tell.

Two friends from the band Bob plays in back in Minnesota called today. The calls helped his mind stay clear. At least that's my opinion.

paranoia or denial?...

I'm not sure if I'm overly paranoid or in denial. A few days ago, Bob had a lousy day. Then, the next two days, he is better in some ways, but other ways not. He is still sleeping in his chair more than usual. I believe it's because he doesn't get up to move. I keep telling him to stand up and do some jumping jacks. (That would be funny.) Am I in denial? I don't want the same thing to happen as 18 months ago. Eighteen months ago, the day before Bob had his stroke, he slept all day. Bob doesn't have his shunt in his head anymore, so is there fluid building up inside his skull? Am I paranoid? Should I relax?

I emailed the doctor to see if she'd order a CAT Scan just to ease my worries. Haven't heard back yet.

A liitle reminder of a few months ago...

Today was not a good day for Bob. I feel like he took a few months step back today. He sat in his wheelchair all day. He slept most of the day in his wheelchair. When he was awake, he wasn't "with it". He seemed confused about a lot of things. He didn't have very good bladder control, either. One time during the day, Bob got so angry that he showed a mean side of him that I've never seen before. Scary...

I watched him like a hawk. His behavior was making me nervous. He kept telling me things were fine. It was rainy and cloudy; maybe he had a little "blues"

Usual day...

What can I say? It is Saturday. We cleaned all day. I won a game of Backgammon. Bob won one game. Penn State lost, bad. Ducks are still playing, but winning by 2 points. I helped Aunika with her Master's homework. Bob slept some of the day. We talked shop. No exercise. Ate dinner; Aunika cooked. :) (write that on a calendar! It doesn't happen often, but it was good.) I worked on my online class. Then, it was bedtime. Bob had a down day when it came to memory. He seemed tired.

Typical day.

Guess what I did...

You will not even guess what I caught myself doing tonight! I was sitting at the dinner table all by myself in the quiet. No, that's not the weird thing. The weird thing that I caught myself doing was reading a Corn and Soybean magazine, and, understanding it! OMG, what is going to be next? Wearing overalls and a flannel shirt? No, pink Carhartts tucked into Muck boots with pig poop stuck to the sides. hahahahaha.... If anyone knows me, that's way too funny!

Bob and I are alike in more ways...

As I read a national MS (Multiple Sclerosis) magazine today, I realized that Bob and I are "in the same boat" on some health issues. Bob had an attack on his brain, and MS attacks parts of the brain that prohibits signals to go to the muscles. For example, he has a neurological health problem and so do I. Sometimes, cognitively, our brains don't work well. Bob's is slow on memory, and my memory to come up with words sometimes doesn't work well either. My memory isn't as extensive as his, but it's similar.

We both get tired easily. At times, I'd like to contribute that to age, however, I'm not even 50 yet. I get tired, because I have to work so hard to get my muscles to move. Bob has to work hard too, because he laid for so long, and he has drop-foot, which requires him to lift his left leg higher when he walks.

Woo-hoo!!!...

I had the crap scared out of me today. Bob and I were going through our normal morning routine of, "Where do we live?" "What state do we live in?" "Where is that in the US?"... Usually, on the first question, Bob answers "Roseburg" after a long, digging deep in his brain pause. Then, I follow up with the remainder of the questions. This morning he answered, "Roseburg, 2147 SE Lois Drive, Roseburg, OR 97470." I asked him, "Where'd you come up with that?" (because he always needs coaxed to give the full addressed) He responded, "Well, that's where we live!"

Boy, did that moment feel so weird, but wonderful at the same time. Isn't it funny how memory fools the one with memory loss and the one who deals with another's memory loss.

Bob has another day of silence. I still have laryngitis. His hearing is being challenged now. So far so good.

Silence is golden sometimes...

I woke up this morning with laryngitis. My kids love it, but they miss me yelling. See, it's the small things that mean the most.

There was no yelling in the Lakes Trading office either. Anytime I felt my t mess up or he refused to do something, I couldn't raise my voice; it just squeaked. The only thing I could do was jut my bottom jaw/teeth out, wrinkle my brow, and give a little snarl.

I believe I had a "light bulb" moment. I think some of Bob's slow thinking problem has to do with self-confidence. He has been well aware of his lack of short-term memory. He doesn't want to answer questions or have many conversations for fear of being wrong. Maybe it's partially my fault for correcting him so many times. I've been answering for him for a year and a half. It's become a habit. I keep picturing myself as a little old bitty that won't let her husband stand up for himself. That's not a vision I want to portray.

A glimpse to reality...

Bob is recovering miraculously. He survived an event that most people don't live through to talk about. Funny thing is, Bob lived through it, but can't talk about it either. :-/

Even though I've portrayed things as being back to normal, let me give you some downsides. I keep saying Bob's memory is getting better each day. Well, it is; however, he can't remember to take his medicine each day; he doesn't remember where our bedroom is (most days); he doesn't remember where the bathroom is (he asks where it is just about every time.); he hasn't remembered our address, and he doesn't remember how to do basic tasks. I need to retrain him on how to do things; which is ok, I can train him how I want things done, and he doesn't question me or give me a suggestion on how to do the task differently. (I bet all the females reading this are jealous!) He calls Zachary "Joe or Isaac", and sometimes thinks my son is visiting for the weekend.

Bob doesn't remember most of our conversation, though, the conversations are educated and nice while they are going. Bob knows he doesn't remember. He tries so hard and is determined to remember; he just can't. It will come. I know it will. I haven't given up. You know me- Will I give up? No.

My hair isalready white...

Zachary, my son, passed the written part of his driver's test on the first attempt. When he came out of the DMV, it was difficult for him to contain himself. Great, now I have to train two people how to drive. If I start babbling like a fool, you'll know why. My hair is already white, so going gray from stress is already done. I hope it doesn't fall out. :-/

Bob and I went for a walk today instead of doing the wii for exercise. He zipped right along the entire way. He even extended the distance a bit longer. Walking back to our house is all uphill. The grade is slight, but it gives enough of an incline to make Bob huff and puff.

Bob knows his short-term memory sucks. He tells me he needs to start writing things down, but he forgets that he needs to write things down. I know I can remind him, but I need someone to remind me to remind him. geez....

Challenge...

Who's up for a challenge? Our challenge is to just exercise on a continuous basis. Bob and I, once again, attempted the wii fit. This time we both made it to 10 minutes. That's four more minutes than the last time. This time we worked more towards a well-rounded workout. We incorporated aerobics, strength, and balance. You would never guess Bob had a musical background while he attempted aerobics. He got better as time went on. I guess that's part of the fun. :-)

We're getting fit! We have a long way to go, but we've put one foot forward.

Chicago...

Oh dear, I'm a few days behind. Bob and I were in Chicago. The weather was great. We left just in time. The weatherman was calling for snow.

Chicago is too fast paced for two slow-pokes like Bob and me. People (strangers) in Chicago were helpful, but could get irritated quickly if you lolligag. We weren't trying to lolligag.

It was great seeing family and friends. Bob's two boys drove to Chicago from MN to visit.

I'm going to vomit...

Getting the taste of working on the road. I'm glad I learn fast, because I'm learning new things and I'm trying to look intelligent at the same time. :-/

Travels to Chicago...

Bob and I are in the middle of traveling from Oregon to Chicago. Going through the airport checkpoint was quite interesting. I've been through the process before; however, new regulations started yesterday.

This time I had to take my shoes off, and my belt. Now, can't they see that in order to take my belt off, I have to stand up, as well as have some sort of balance. They don't care. "Take it off!" We had to take coats off too.

Bob got away with not having to take his shoes off. I told them that he couldn't do that. It is way too difficult.

My wheelchair needed disassembled and checked for explosives. I could have told them I shipped my last supply by mail yesterday. :-)

Next time we fly, I'm going to go to the airport in my pjs and then get dressed before boarding the plane.

Paranoia abound...

I am so paranoid. Tonight, while Bob and I were out to dinner, His eyes looked like he had red eyeliner on his bottom eye lid. When he pulled his bottom eye lid down, it looked to me like blood ran down his eye and pooled at the bottom. Now, with MS, even though I have bifocals, my eyes don't focus well up close. I asked the waiter to look; he didn't see anything. We went to a friend's house. They looked with a flashlight; nothing.

I know I saw something. I know I'm going to stay awake all night. Bob says he feels fine. I'm very paranoid. geesh...

The brain is funny....

You've heard me say this hundreds of times, "The brain's a funny thing." When it works; it works. When it doesn't work; it sucks.

Bob reminded me to do three things today. YES, HE REMINDED ME! However...one of the things he reminded me to do was to take Zachay to band class, but, 15 minutes later while driving him to the school, Bob didn't know where we were going. See...the brain sucks when it's not working well.

We leave for Chicago this weekend. We are staying in Portland, Oregon on Friday, so I can leave the car at the hotel for a week, and we can take the shuttle from the hotel to the airport. That way we get curbside service for lifting the luggage and wheelchair. Over the years, I've also become and "old bitty"; I hate crowds. I want everyone out of my way. I tend to get snippy.

The light bulb burns brighter...

I can't wait for the day that the light bulb lights up in Bob's head and stays lit. Every time he remembers things, I let my guard down and relax, then I start a conversation like nothing is wrong, and Bob forgets where he's at, argues with me about how long he's been in Oregon, and whose house we live in. :-(

But...but....but....he knows each of his client's account numbers frontwards and backwards. So, I can't wait for that one section of his brain that got zapped extra hard, recovers.

You know though, when I look back at how far Bob has come just since he's been home from May until now, just five months, he's a whole different person. He had a memory that lasted only minutes after learning something new, and talking to him was like talking to a blank wall. Now, he talks back and doesn't have a blank look on his face. :-) If you didn't know any better, you'd never guess anything happened so devastating.

Bob was judge...

We had our annual pumpkin carving contest last night. I've been doing it for twenty years (I think). Families are teams. They bring a pumpkin that is not carved nor does it have any tracing on it. Stencils or electrical tools are not allowed. Freehand only. All at the same time, each team finds a place to carve their pumpkin. They have one hour. After the hour, the pumpkins are placed side-by-side with a cover over them. When it gets dark, the pumpkins are uncovered and an unbiased person is chosen as a judge. Usually the judge is a neighbor that we knock on the door to ask them to judge.

Last night Bob was the judge. Even though he may have seen whose pumpkin was whose, he would have forgotten within five minutes, so he couldn't have been biased.

There is a traveling trophy that has been rotated for ten years. The first place team gets to claim the trophy and bragging rights for one year. The trophy is handed over to the first place team the next year by the previous year's winner.

Other memory issues with Bob that baffles me is still his memory of events we recently did. We went to see Asleep At The Wheel Friday. He doesn't remember if he has to come up with the event. But when I tell him, he knows all of the details. He doesn't remember the "title" of the pumpkin carving contest; but when I tell him we had the Pumpkin Carving Contest last night, he knows all of the details. This reminds me of last year, when I showed him objects, he couldn't name them, but he could give details about it.

Bob gets so frustrated and angry when he's talking and can't come up with words to identify the object he's talking about.

Arguing can be simple...

What a day! Today was Bob's (and my) first day back to work as a commodities broker. We only had one massive argument. I think that is a first for us. But you know...I was right and I wasn't backing down! typical woman

Bob apologized when he knew I was right. Arguing could be a simple thing if Bob would have just agreed with me from the beginning. That would have saved a lot of grief. I've heard that's not an instinct that the male human species possesses.

I'm ready for bed. Looks like exercising is a "no go" for today.

Downloading files...

Bob and I worked our fingers to the bone today. Bob finally starts back with his clients tomorrow, and we had so much to do to get ready. We were at the computer from 6AM to 9:30PM. Bob took a choir practice break, but I kept rolling along. Amazingly, I didn't have to tell Bob to stay focused. He stay intent on getting things done all day.

I have a new tidbit about how Bob's brain is working. Yesterday, he got a new email address from the new firm he will be working with. I don't believe I mentioned it more than two times yesterday. This morning, he remembered it with no clues from me. So, that tells me the brain definitely has a "high priority" folder in its filing cabinet somewhere.

Bob always forgets our wedding day by a day or two; so, of course I had to joke about that not being in the"high priority" file. I told him, "You've been caught! We now know that his memory works. No more forgetting." :-) The files in the "maybe remember" file are being transferred to the "always remember" file, just like you see the document being transferred on your computer when you download something.

I see I see...

Bob just had a light bulb turn on above his head! He thought we had to go to downtown Chicago to pick Zachary up at band practice. When I told him we were in Roseburg, Oregon on the west coast, his eyes widened like the light bulb went on in his head. :-)

That's an everyday conversation with us. It can get frustrating at times. It's frustrating because one minute my t knows everything, and then the next minute he's off in tim-buck-too. Go figure.

I wrote the neuro-research at OHSU to see if they could use Bob as a case study. I'll keep you updated with the response.

Frustration sets in...

OK, frustration is finally starting to "rear" its ugly head. I'm getting frustrated with Bob's lack of immediate short-term memory. All day long yesterday, my t didn't remember that we went to Zachary's marching band competition. He forgot as soon as we walked out of the gates. A fellow pulled up beside us as we got in our car to ask us what was going on at the school. Bob said there was a horse show going on. I asked Bob at least ten times within the next several hours what we attended. He didn't remember once. However, today, he remembers. Ugh...

So, immediate short-term memoery sucks, but next day memory is OK. Frustrating? Yes, it is !

By-the-way, Zachary's school took 3rd place.

Brain tricks...

hahaha...Last night, Bob and I were watching TV in bed. Well, I was watching TV, Bob was falling asleep. My t woke up and said, "Is she talking to me?" referring to the actress on TV. I started laughing, she was asking another actor if he wanted tea. Bob is so used to my kids and me calling him t, he thought the lady on the TV was talking to him by saying tea.

Doesn't the brain do funny things?

We are getting good about going for walks everyday. The weird things, though, Bob says his feet fall asleep, which makes it hard for him to walk.

I deserve a D for failing to post...

Sorry for not posting for a few days. I've been tired by the end of the day. Bob and I have been trying to get into some sort of routine. It's not working.

I read today on the Brain aneurysm foundation website that the brain IS a muscle and memory will come back if the survivor exercises it. The amount of time it takes depends on where the aneurysm broke in the brain. Frontal lobe breaks take a longer time to heal, which is where Bob's was, than other parts of the brain. How much longer? No one knows. So, that bit of information (that I already knew, but needed reinforced) refreshed my faith today.

Bob is recovering so well. He's walking better. His eyes are coordinated. His memory is coming back. Short-term memory still needs work. All in all, I'll give things one thumbs up.

My invention was approved for partnership with a company in California. That was exciting news.

Here's to the history buffs...

I knew someone who reads this blog would know history. I took "power" naps during History class in high school and college. Bob was half right on the question about when the two main political parties came about. The Democratic party started in 1743 and the Republican Party started in 1854. Bob thought they started around the same time. Thanks Roger for your email.

I won't tell you which party Bob and I belong to; however, I will say, I see the Republican Party started 100 years after the Democrats. The Republicans were tired of whining about the policies of the Democrats and had to form a group of their own. It hasn't stopped yet. (Don't throw things at the computer! Opinions are what make the world go around.)

Bob's memory is still baffling, but getting better. He remembered his answer that he gave me about the political parties 24 hours after our discussion, but he couldn't remember we were going to church five minutes after we got in the car this morning. I can tell some synapses are reconnecting; others, still need time.

Lararus...

Good news. My patented invention has been resurrected. A new company in California is looking to take my invention to manufacturers to be licensed and marketed. I'm a bit leery since my last agent "fell by the wayside" and was sued by some "big-wig".

I told Bob today that he's going to get a new nickname...Lazarus. God brought him back from the dead.

Bob did lots of walking today. He was sweating "like a pig", as he put it. To test his memory, I asked him when the two political parties started, Rep and Dem. I don't have a clue, but what he told me sounded good. He said, "Pretty much from the beginning, after the war of Independence." Does anyone know? Email me jiachini@msn.com

Reality check...

I had a reality check yesterday. I was so sick; I needed to stay in bed. Well, Bob couldn't find the things needed to make coffee (they've been in the same place for four years), he took the wrong medicine (even though his medicine is in a pill box with the days of the week printed on each section), and he couldn't find the programs he needed on his computer (email was one). Zachary didn't get up for school (his classes are online, so he didn't even need to shower!). Even though my t is recover well, there are some things that need retrained. Get this though, he has every client's account number memorized. The simple task part of the brain must have been zapped.

So, I got up to make coffee, and I screwed it up. I was so nauseous and "out of it", I put the filter in the coffee maker without the holder-thingy. There was coffee everywhere. :-(

I guess it goes to prove, males can't function without females. Sorry guys. ;-p

Success...

WE DID IT! Bob and I finally exercised. I gathered up all of my small pieces of exercise equipment that I've accumulated over the years and we exercised. Woo-hoo! Bob even did aerobics by walking about a quarter of a mile while pushing me in a wheelchair. I'm motivated. Maybe I'll be lean and trim for our wedding. Bob too.

We've decided to have a pig roast for our wedding reception. It is going to be in a park in Pluver. I hope the weather will be good. I've been in warm weather too long. I know I;ll be freezing.

Be prepared for an emergency. Get your Personal Medical Information Book at www.travel-mobility.com.

Exercise? What's that?...

What is so hard about exercising while sitting in a chair? Rather, I should say, "What is so hard about fitting strength training exercises into a daily routine while sitting in a chair all day?" IT'S NOT, BUT I DON'T.

Dag-nabbit, I have full intentions the night before to incorporate exercise into my day starting the following day. Before you know it, the day in done, I'm pooped, and ready for bed saying the same thing..."Tomorrow, I WILL exercise!"

Bob says the same thing. I can easily be swayed by his decision to not exercise when he says, "Later" or "Not right now".

I had my spirits lifted again a few days ago. I read an article about a girl who fell from a barn loft and was in a coma with a brain injury. After regaining consciousness. she had to reteach herself everything, just like Bob. She had short-term memory, just like Bob. She retrained her brain just like all the rest of her muscles. It took a few years, but she is back to 100%. The medical staff didn't think she would regain much. She surprised the heck out of them, just like Bob is doing.

Exercise conversation again...

Bob and I talk about exercising and eating healthy every day. We went to Costco yesterday and purchased everything healthy. We even passed up pumpkin pie. We got strawberries instead, but I suggested ice cream for on top of the strawberries. No we didn't get any. dang it.

We did good eating healthy for 24 hours, until Bob wanted dessert after dinner. Of course he said, "Let's go to Dairy Queen." You guessed it! I couldn't say no. Bob walked his calories off by pushing me to the football field to watch Zachary's marching band practice for a competition. (I could feel the calories burning right off. hahaha) Tomorrow's another day.

Same ole' same ole'...

We are getting closer to the day Bob starts back to being "Commodities Broker", with me by his side. I'm getting nervous. Bob has thirty years as a broker under his belt and knows so much; I know nothing. He's trying to teach me. He tells me I'll learn it the more I'm around it.

There is a conference in Chicago that we are going to venture to. Now, that makes me nervous! I know we'll be fine. Bob's memory is better; he just forgets immediately new information unless it is important. I need to enforce writing things down with him.

Don't be the last one to get you "Personal Medical Information Book"

Career choices...

I'm so happy for my t that he's able to get back to doing what he loves and knows the most about, being a commodities broker. Why? We went to the college where I teach. As we walked across the campus, I said, "Now, this is me. This is where I'm supposed to be. I was made to teach at the collegiate level."

A few years ago, I started teaching classes online, because it was too difficult for me to stand in front of a classroom full of students to teach. It's also too hard to sit in a wheelchair to teach. I like to be towering over the students. I guess it shows authority; I'm in charge. Anyway, I miss teaching face-to-face classes. Yes, I'm still teaching; it's not the same. That's why I'm glad Bob is able to get back to what he loves doing.

My career is taking another turn. I get to be a commodities broker too. I will continue with my online teaching. I get to expand my horizons from logical/concrete information to abstract/guessing information. If you see me looking totally baffled, buy me a rtiff alcoholic beverage.

Bob helped with the yard work today. I've written several articles about safety issues while doing yard work. The first thing on the safety list is to get a physical from a physician who will give the A-OK to do physical labor. A person doesn't realize how strenuous yard work is. You wouldn't go out to run a marathon without training, so do some training during the winter months to get in shape for endurance and strength.

Bob has not done anything remotely strenuous for 16 months. I made him stop weed-eating, because I thought he was going to pass out. He was turning green. He said he was dizzy. It's a start, though. Little by little...

All of Zachary's results came back negative. His illness is frustrating. He is obviously sick. He can't fake the black circles under his eyes, the mucus caked in his eyes, the red eyes, or the lack of appetite because of being nauseous. Maybe I should try herbs. Do the nature thing.

Bob's memory is so frustrating too. One day he's right on, then the next day, he's lousy. He's great in the morning, but by evening, he doesn't even know where our bedroom is. goofy

What exercise?...

At one point in all of my careers, I advised people to incorporate exercise into their daily routine. Examples would be like parking farther from work or the store in order to get extra walking in their day. I gave suggestions for different types of exercises that could be done while sitting at a desk or computer. I've written articles about exercising. I even taught classes in college about designing your own fitness program.

Do you think by doing all of that that I'd practice what I preached? Hell, No! The day goes by so fast that I'm too pooped to keep my head up looking forward. If I'd exercise, I'd gain strength to get through the day. sigh....

Bob is the same way. He also eats enough for the both of us and then a few more people. I'm losing my coaching enthusiasm. I need to take an energy drink and get motivated. After all, we're getting married in May. I need to be able to walk down the isle. :-)

More crying...

What an emotional day again. We decided to visit the nursing staff at the VA in Roseburg. The last time we went, many of the staff members who took care of Bob were not working. They were there today. Bob walked in pushing me in my wheelchair. We heard, "Look, the king pushing the queen!" Staff started gathering around us. Oh my goodness...Bob was crying. I was crying because Bob was crying. The nurses were crying. We were blubbering fools.

We saw Shannon. She was the nurse in the video to the right>>> who took Bob on as her own project. She was the one who got Bob strong enough to walk for the first time after seven months.

One new nurse was Bob's nurse when he was at Rosehaven. The last she saw him, he wasn't eating too much on his own yet. His brain was still trapped, and he wasn't aware of too much of his surroundings. She was sobbing to see Bob's recovery. She couldn't talk.

The head nurse practitioner said, "I love seeing success stories." (Remember, she was one of the staff that had no faith and felt that Bob wasn't going to recover too much more mentally than the level he was in October '09?) I responded by saying, "I had no doubt!" She said, "No, you never did give up."

Priorities...

Sorry I didn't post a blog last night. Dancing with the Stars started another season. Being an ex-ballroom dancer, I couldn't miss a minute!

Zachary had his CAT Scan done yesterday. We haven't heard about the results yet. I believe they were checking for ulcers again and looking at the swollen lymph nodes in his back to see if there is an infection somewhere in his body.

We got the school situation under control. Zachary is able to do his Math, Science, English, Language Arts, German, and Designing Games online, then take Concert band and Percussion in public school. Thank goodness that has been resolved. I'm glad of that, because he would have missed school all last week because of being sick.

Bob's memory was "on" for the past two days, except where we live. I suppose we need to move so he'll get our location correct...NOT!

Success...

100% success! All of our jars of tomato puree sealed. We are good! We only did 22 jars; that was four boxes of tomatoes. That is enough for now. That won't be enough for the year; it'll have to due.

Today was church day. I tried to convince Bob to skip one day, since we had an exhausting day yesterday of canning. He wouldn't budge. So, we gathered ourselves up out of bed to traipse off to church.

Zachary is excited that Bob and I are able to go to the store by ourselves. He no longer has to tag along to help with wheelchairs. Bob and I have the wheelchair thing down to a science. We both lift it into the car together. Sometimes, Bob even does it by himself!

A little domestication...

We canned tomatoes all day long today. We started with two boxes of tomatoes, then decided to go get two more boxes. We could have been done by 1pm. Now, it's going to be 9pm when we're finally done. Bob, Zachary, and I were quite the team. More like a tag team. When Bob got tired, I took over his position of coring and cutting. When I tuckered out, Bob took back his role. Zachary ran the food mill and filled the jars. He put the hot lid on the jar, while I screwed the ring on. Bob transferred the hot jar to the table and covered the jars with a thick layer of towels and blankets. I have always hot packed when canning tomatoes. One hundred percent always seal. I learned from a long-time expert, my ex-mother-in-law.

Thank goodness for takeout. There was no way I was going to make lunch or dinner today. I was too "pooped". It was a treat to Zachary too for helping all day.

Bob's memory faded in and out during the day. Lack of food or fatigue had an effect on his memory. But, he hung in there too, like Zachary. I didn't have to chase either one back to the kitchen to finish the deed. It was nice...my boys...gotta love 'em.

This and that and another thing...

Tomorrow we are going to tackle canning tomatoes. Last year was the first year in 30 years that I missed canning tomatoes, and boy did I miss home-canned tomatoes for spaghetti sauce. Canning is going to be a challenge, because neither of us has the endurance to stand very long. I believe we will puree everything instead of canning whole tomatoes. I usually can 40 or more quart jars. I doubt that that will happen tomorrow. Zachary's going to help.

Bob is beginning to give me a hard time about exercising. He even refuses to do simple flexibility exercises. I'm not sure why. He needs to exercise, because his eating is starting to get out of control.

A surprise visit to Rosehaven...

We made a surprise visit to Rosehaven nursing facility today. Bob was in Rosehaven for eight weeks last year in July and August. When he arrived there, he had his trach still in, he could not swallow yet, and he could not sit up on his own.

We first went directly to the exercise room. Bob was pushing me in my wheelchair. The staff were each working with individual residents. When they recognized Bob, everyone stopped and immediately came over to Bob with huge smiles. It made Bob giddy. The therapists took Bob on a tour to show him all of the equipment that he worked on. Of course he doesn't remember a thing.

Many of Bob's nurses and his speech therapist came to greet him as well. The nurses were emotional. One began to cry.

As always, Bob was very appreciative and thanked everyone of them. He hates it that he can't remember any of the past year. The speech therapist told him, "That is what pictures and Jan's blogpage are for-to tell you about your journey. We all don't remember things that we've done when we were little, but people tells us, and we just accept it as real. That's what is happening with you. No big deal."

When we got back home, I showed Bob all of the pictures I took while he was at Rosehaven hoping he could make a little connection.

Did you get your Personal Medical Information Book yet?

Update on Zachary...

I haven't updated you on the well-being of my son, Zachary. We are still trying to come up with a diagnosis for his on-going fatigue, gook in his eyes, and clogged sinuses. The doctor ordered more tests. He's being tested for celiac disease-allergy to wheat. It's seems like he gets deathly ill with stomach pains and migraines after eating anything with wheat in it. The doctor also ordered a CAT Scan of his swollen lymph nodes in his back, another test for a stomach ulcer, and a test for some kind of bacteria that I can't remember or pronounce.

Bob is well. He knows now that he doesn't have good memory. He tries so hard though to recall, but can't. Also, his walking is getting smoother and quicker.

Did you order your Personal Medical Information Book yet?

ROTFLOL...

Bob told me today that he was going to play basketball. Picture that! I asked him when was the last time he played basketball? "About 30 years years." We laughed so hard; I was crying and got a "side stitch". Bob would run five steps, then go to the coach and say, "Coach, I need a replacement quick." (Bob said that.)

Bob went into Home Depot with the person who is laying our wood floors. I asked if he remembered where the base board was located. He told me exact directions. Woo-hoo. Memory is slowly returning, except where we live. He answers that question correctly about 50% of the time. We laugh about it though. He'll say, "uhh...Where the hell are we?" as he rolls his eyes.

Have you visited www.travel-mobility.com to order your Personal Medical Information Book yet? What are you waiting for? Get one for each family member.

Good day...

What a great Sunday. Bob sang and played his guitar at the church picnic with the choir director, a choir member, and a church member. Three played guitar and the other played a banjo. Bob and I chose songs that are very familiar. Our intentions were for the people who attended the picnic to sing along. Which they did. It was so exciting to see Bob play and sing. I loved hearing his voice as he talked through the microphone. He has his radio voice back.

One thing I did notice, though, that only needs practice is his ability to play the guitar, read music, and sing at the same time fluently. (It's better than I could do) Hell, that might be asking a bit much. After all, he was on his "death bed" 16 months ago.

Bob is doing so well walking. He's a miracle!

Bob announced in church that we are getting married in May. If you're going to attend, plan on two celebrations-our marriage and two year anniversary of life for Bob.

Who's losing their memory? Not Bob...

Bob and I decided to go to Sheri's to get dessert. We got in the car, drove down our road, then came to the first stop sign where I needed to make a decision to go right or left. My mind was a complete blank. I forgot where we were going. I said, "Where are we going?" Bob told me, "Sheri's"! Yes, Bob told me where we were going! He said, "Only one of us can be forgetful between us, so get it together." The nerve.... :-) I've been hanging around Bob too long. I'm picking up his habits.



Don't forget to visit http://www.travel-mobility/ to get you Personal Medical Information Book.

Too many smartasses...

Exercise was not a problem today for my t. When we entered Home Depot, I offered to wheel my wheelchair myself and he could ride in one of the automatic carts. Bob refused, and said that he needs to walk to get exercise for the day. By the end of our trek across Home Depot two or three times, Bob was getting very slow, but he made it. Hahaha, one fellow stopped us and said, "Are you aware there is a speed limit?" I said, "I'm buckled in. We're good." (Smartass)

Bob's telling everyone that we got married last weekend, and that we're having a second ceremony in Plover in May. Once again....smartass.

Thank goodness for driver's licenses. Bob's has saved me in many many arguments about where we live and when he moved here. He was so "deadset" on living east of Pocahontas, IA and only living here since 2009. I had him look at the issue date on his license. He backed down from his argument. I asked him to not argue with me. He told me to get used to it, because that's what he does. Jokingly, I pulled out my calendar to put a question mark beside May 14, 2011 (our wedding day). :-D The brain and memory are so baffling and frustrating at the same time.

Bob is so smart...

Bob was so amazing today as we talked about commodities. We discussed the difference between the styles of brokers, chart readers or news reactors. Bob is a combination of both, but weighs more toward reading charts. The "zone" he was in while discussing the topic reinforced how intelligent he is, especially about commodities. In my opinion, the clearing house that Bob worked with before his stroke and doesn't want to work with him anymore is making a mistake. A lot of the reason is fear. Bob had brain surgery, so But, I've said this many times over my blogging novel, God has a plan for all of us, and I'm sure there is a real good reason things are happening the way they are.

Bob will be back to trading actively within a few weeks. He'll be with a new clearing house. The new clearing house and the people Bob will be working with are long-time friends. Reconnecting with these people has put a little more "spunk" in Bob's walk.

Bob is trying so hard to work on remembering things. As always, if I give him clues, what he is trying to recall comes to the forefront of his memory immediately. One thing he doesn't remember yet is how we met. He recalls little details, but not how we met. :-(

More caregiver reunions...

I hope everyone had a safe and restful Memorial Day. One thing I miss living in this part of Oregon that the east coast always had are parades for every holiday. I believe we have two parades, one for the start of the rodeos (I think) and the Veterans Day parade.

Bob and I saw two nurses today that took care of him while he was in Rosehaven Medical Center. I loved seeing their faces of surprise when they recognized him. When Bob was in Rosehaven, he was just learning to eat, and he still had his trach in. To see him walking brought complete joy to their faces. And, of course, Bob got all teary-eyed at their reactions.

One thing that upsets Bob when we see people that were his caregivers is that he doesn't remember any of them, so all he can do is thank them. It is a sincere thanks, but not as sincere as it would be if he knew who and what they did for him.

Have you order your "My Personal Medical Information Book"?

Easier days...

Everyday is getting easier and easier for Bob and me to just get in the car to run errands. Bob is able to walk with no assistance, so he's able to get a shopping cart and then, return it to the shopping cart "hopper".

Bob is relearning how to use the debit card machine. Next, we'll tackle the self checkout line.

Bob still doesn't remember what he's done from morning to afternoon. Gentle reminders are the key. He's ok with me having to remind him all the time. He knows and recognizes that he has very short-term memory.

Remember to order your Personal Medical Information book. Take the worries out of having to remember medical information during emergency situations.

backseat driver...

Oh my heavens! Bob is such a backseat driver; it's unbelievable. He watches the traffic lights to tell me when my signal is about to turn green. EVERY TIME! He tells me where to turn. He tells me the speed limit. And, the worst annoyance...he tells me to pull up about a foot or two to "trip" the device that changes the traffic signal.

All I can say is "Thank goodness for VW bugs!" Why? Do you remember the thing you used to do when you saw a VW bug? You'd yell, "SLUG BUG", then hit the person beside you? Well, my teens have resurrected that shenanigan, and I get to slug Bob now every time I see a VW bug. And, let me tell you, there are a lot of them around.

Remember to order your Personal Medical Information Book. Click here to visit the site. I've been getting stories about how thankful people are to have gotten the book. Emergency trips to the ER do not allow ones mental state to recall easily.

Memory farts...

Bob and I haven't been in an argument over where we live for quite sometime. However, today was the day for all kinds of memory "farts" for Bob. I asked him, "What am I going to do with you?" (just being a smartass) He told me that I need to help him remember. That's a good thing he knows he doesn't remember too much. Ha, he told me today when he remembered something, "Now, if you ask me five minutes from now, I probably won't remember."

He has been writing things that he's done during the day on a calendar. By doing this, Bob can refer to it to remind himself what he's done during the day. Today, we decided to print out an hourly planner, so he can remind himself of what he has to do in the future. It did occur to me to look both ways in the day, past and future. I was so focused on Bob remembering what he did earlier in the day; I didn't think about remembering things that needed done later in the day, like appointments.

Did you order your Personal Medical Information Book?

New page...

Update to the Personal Medical History Book: A fingerprint page has been added to the book. In severe emergency cases, fingerprints will help identify you. Also, a child's fingerprints are needed for identification purposes. Be prepared. When you least expect it, you'll need medical information for yourself or someone in the family. Go here to get a copy of a book that I wrote out of necessity. I needed Bob's medical information time and time again. I designed the book by using a variety of medical forms that repeated the same information over and over. The book is only $14.95. That is 14.95 well spent dollars. It can also be used in emergency situations. If available to EMTs, all of your medical and identifying information is right at their disposal.Included in this book are stroke and heart attack warning signs, caregiver lifting tips, and travel first aid tips. Important information right at your finger tips. Get a book for everyone in your family.

Tonight was the first night for church choir practice. Bob has not missed a beat when it comes to singing. His voice is so wonderful; as most already know.

Bob walked around the yard for the first time today in sixteen months. He walked around checking out the landscape projects that need done, and he checked out the outside of the new addition.

Needless to say, Bob's walking is getting more steady each day. He just used a walking stick today.

Project education update...

Be prepared. When you least expect it, you'll need medical information for yourself or someone in the family. Go here to get a copy of a book that I wrote out of necessity. I needed Bob's medical information time and time again. I designed the book by using a variety of medical forms that repeated the same information over and over. The book is only $14.95. That is 14.95 well spent dollars. It can also be used in emergency situations. If available to EMTs, all of your medical and identifying information is right at their disposal.Included in this book are stroke and heart attack warning signs, caregiver lifting tips, and travel first aid tips. Important information right at your finger tips. Get a book for everyone in your family.

I was told today that Zachary will need to go to a room that the school provides everyday to complete his online classes. Now, figure that one out! He needs to go to a building to work on individual online classes, not group activities, but individual online classes. We have Internet at home, and I have a Ed. D. I've taught at the collegiate level for 14 years. I think I'm qualified to supervise; don't you think?

Last night, I emailed the Superintendent of the Oregon Department of Education. I proposed to supervise and report statistics for a pilot duel program for students to take electives in school and complete classes online. Cross your fingers to see a positive answer. I added a piece on progressive learning too. Progressive learning is a concept that started right here in Oregon.

Project education...

Be prepared. When you least expect it, you'll need medical information for yourself or someone in the family. Go here to get a copy of a book that I wrote out of necessity. I needed Bob's medical information time and time again. I designed the book by using a variety of medical forms that repeated the same information over and over. The book is only $14.95. That is 14.95 well spent dollars. It can also be used in emergency situations. If available to EMTs, all of your medical and identifying information is right at their disposal.Included in this book are stroke and heart attack warning signs, caregiver lifting tips, and travel first aid tips. Important information right at your finger tips. Get a book for everyone in your family.

I have a gripe to vent. This time it has to deal with the educational system. Oregon is on the low end of the totem poll when it comes to putting money towards educating the kids. They do not provide enough opportunity for alternative styles of education.

During the second half of the past school year, Zachary was sick. I had to withdraw him from school. Eventually, he was able to take band in school while completing his English, Math, and Science online.

Now, I want him to continue taking electives at the school, while completing academics online. Because of how money is allocated, he cannot do both. Figure that out! I think I have a new project.

www.travel-mobility.com

Be prepared. When you least expect it, you'll need medical information for yourself or someone in the family. Go here to get a copy of a book that I wrote out of necessity. I needed Bob's medical information time and time again. I designed the book by using a variety of medical forms that repeated the same information over and over. The book is only $14.95. That is 14.95 well spent dollars. It can also be used in emergency situations. If available to EMTs, all of your medical and identifying information is right at their disposal.

Included in this book are stroke and heart attack warning signs, caregiver lifting tips, and travel first aid tips. Important information right at your finger tips. Get a book for everyone in your family.

travel-mobility.com

All is better on the west coast. Bob's brain is reconnecting the wires or making new connections. I try to challenge is memory a few times each day by having him remember a list of items. The funny things is is that I have to make sure I remember the items. I definitely have to sit with Bob and think hard about the items that I asked him to remember.

Remember to order your Personal Medical Information Book at www.travel-mobility.com. I wrote the book because I was tired of having to recall all of Bob's medical information a zillion times. This book allows me to have it all written down, then I can had it to the nurse who's taking his medical information.

Personal Medical Information Book...

The Personal Medical Information Book is ready for purchasing! Do you often find yourself needing to recall medications and the dosage? Do you need to recall family medical information? Is all of your medical information written down in an easily accessible place?

So often over the past year I needed all of Bob's medical information. That's why I designed this book. All of the necessary medical information is all in one small easy to grab book. I keep one for Bob and one for me in the car.

Heck, today, I had an eye appointment that asked me medical information. The book came in handy.

Visit travel-mobility to order one for each member of your family.

Another day of recovery...

Today was a good day. We picked up my engagement ring. Now, reality is setting in. Although, nothing will be any different than it has been for the past four years, there just a feeling of being connected. It's hard to explain.

Bob is very aware that he has lost about a year and a half of time. He knows that when he says something just happened, to us, it has been two years. He's learning not to argue with me about when something happened. He'll tell me he just talked with someone a few weeks ago, but in actuality, it's been two years. How frustrating would that be? Sounds like some movies I've seen.

Memory seems to be slowly improving. The problem now is that Bob combines five different happenings into one story. Let me tell you, those stories are quite interesting. Combining over heard conversations with what he sees and what we've done is quite a puzzle to decipher. :-)

Bob walks without assistance everywhere now. He gets "pooped", but he stills plugs along. He pushes my wheelchair, which he uses as support (I guess that's some assistance.) But, if he didn't have to push me, he wouldn't use type of assistance. :-)

Chicken bone spoon...

There is a story behind the above picture. Bob wanted to go on a drive again. So, we got KFC, and headed up the mountains to have a picnic by one of Oregon's gorgeous waterfalls. We drove and drove and drove. I couldn't find the waterfall that I was thinking of. After fifty miles, we pulled into one of the many campgrounds by the river. We took the KFC (chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and biscuits) out of the bag only to find that the KFC worker forgot to give us any plastic ware. NOW WHAT?



Bob ate the chicken off of the bone and became a caveman. He used the bone as a spoon to eat the mashed potatoes and gravy. Butter was put on the biscuits after each bite. We were pioneers.



Bob's email

Jan's email

Bob's memory catapulted forward...

Bob was "on" today. We spoke to some of his clients. We used the speaker phone to introduce me as Bob's new assistant. What nice people they are. Bob was so professional, as always; it was fun. Doing some resemblance of being a broker, Bob's memory seem to catapult forward.

Bob's short-term memory expanded the entire day today. He even took a nap! Before today, a nap always seemed to "wipe the memory slate" clean. But, not today. He remembered taking Zachary lunch at his band camp. Bob asked Zachary at 8:30 pm, "How was the sandwich we brought you?" I had to give my t a high five for remembering.

Bob and I were discussing when a certain company bought out another company. The takeover happened in 2008. This discussion has occurred on a daily basis for the past five months. When I asked Bob when Iowa Grain was bought by ADM, he said, "Well, everyone keeps telling me two years ago, but to me, it just happened." If you think about it, if something happened in 2008, then Bob had his ruptured aneurysm in spring 2009, and he can't remember things from May 2009 to now, of course, the buy-out just happened.

WIIFM...

Why can't people treat others the way they would want to be treated? The world would be a better place. That was the topic of today's church service. Bob and I are in the midst of dealing with all kinds of people who are showing us their true colors. They are human. Humans instinctively do what is best for "me". I wrote an article once that focused on radio station "WIIFM". Station "What's In It For Me". You can read it on one of my websites, www.professorjan.com That article was also published in OHS magazine, August 2009.

Bob walked into church today without any type of assistance. I could tell he was very proud of himself. (As he should be!)

Bob's email
Jan's email

Good days and bad days...

Bob still has good days and bad days. Today was a not so good day. He had trouble with standing and walking. (Boy, do I know that feeling all too well.)

Bob wanted to go for another "Sunday" drive again today. I told him that we couldn't, because every time we go for a drive we always end up in California. I can't wait til he gets his driving "wits" back.

Some people have asked about my new medicine that I started in May. It is a newly approved medicine by the FDA that is supposed to help those with MS walk faster. I think it helps me walk a bit better; however, I also think it is has plateaued. I got a little better, but I've stopped improving. I shouldn't be disappointed, because, at least, now I don't have to lug my wheelchair out of the car everywhere we go. I can do some walking with assistance.

Bob, on the other hand, is walking without his walker. We don't even take it in the car, unless we are walking a long distance. Woo-hoo!

The amount of readers amazes me...

Everyday, when I sign on, I scroll down the page to see how many views there have been to this website. To date, there has been 32,281 views. That is amazing to know how many loved ones my t has. Some have said reading the blogpage is part of their morning ritual -coffee and blogpage. Some also have said they read it before going to bed. These people know what time I post. Earlier in this whole ordeal, posting at midnight was not rare; now, 7pm is very common.

Bob's walking is better. When he walks he looks like he is dancing. I told him that he needs to put earphones in and cary an iPod so it looks like he's dancing to music.

Bob's email
Jan's email

Today was domestic lesson day. :-) Bob had always been helpful with the chores around the house; however, since his stroke, his brain conveniently forgot how to do chores. (I'm sure a little of that has to do with being male too.) Sorry guys :-( Anyway, I retaught Bob how to run the load the washing machine, put laundry detergent in the washer, and set the settings before turning on the washer.

Bob also, loved cooking before his stroke. So, today he helped me make apple crisp. And, yes, we had to eat it with vanilla ice cream. I wanted DQ, but settled for Umpqua. (Umpqua is a local dairy business.)

I should have Bob sign-off on a document that says he has been trained in laundry and baking so he can't use "I don't know" as an excuse.

Bob had plenty exercise today. We went to Costco again. He walked through the entire store, which is a huge warehouse. Also, Bob has NOT used his walker for the past few days. He feels as though walking is getting easier.

Bob's email
Jan's email

New game time...

I'M FINDING A NEW GAME! Bob has beaten me too many times at backgammon that I'm giving up. I have to concentrate too hard.

Now if I can only get him to remember what happened earlier in any given day....sigh...

We are still in the decision-making process with what to do with his business. Bob flip-flops back and forth about what to do. No matter what, we did settle on the decision that we are business partners. I'm his assistant.

I posted a saying on my Facebook page, "You never know what direction life will take you, so put the planner in the trash, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride." That is how my life has been. Remember, when I first started blogging, I asked about life lessons? If I tried to control how my life has taken turns around and around, I'd be a nutcase.

Bob's email
Jan's email

$784,856.15...

I AM SO EXCITED! We were driving to pick Zachary up from band camp today, and Bob said, "I remember this school. It's the school Zachary was going to when I moved here." OMG, OMG. A piece of his memory from the past four years has returned. Given a bit more time, I don't think you'd ever know anything happened to Bob.

Ha, you want to hear some figures that will knock your socks off. I got a letter from the insurance company telling me about Bob's insurance policy and the payout so far. He has a policy that pays 100% after the deductible and up to one million dollars; then, the catastrophic funds kick in. So far, they have paid $784,856.15 for medical bills. Bob said, "Holy shit, what did I do that made the insurance company have to pay so much?" Um..."It's called brain surgery, Bob." :-)

It was 99 degrees outside today. Needless to say, we stayed in the air conditioning all day. On the west coast, temperatures like that feel like you're putting you head in the oven. East coast, it's like putting your head in the dishwasher. I know, I've lived on both coasts.

More recovery...

We took another step closer to sealing the marriage deal. We bought the rings. My engagement ring is getting sized. When I get it, I'll post a picture. However, Bob can't recall on his own that we got them. He remembers when I give him clues. His memory has been that way for a long time, hasn't it?

We ran into Bob's speech therapist that he had in Rosehaven one year ago. She was the one who taught me so much about the swallowing and speech connection. She also gave me a thick binder full of activities to do with Bob to improve his memory when he move from Rosehaven to the VA. Anyway, she was ecstatic to see how far Bob has "woken" up. She said that she doesn't get to see too often a person who was in such a shell as Bob was emerge without much noticeable impairments. :-)

Bob killed me in backgammon today. I jokingly said, "Either you're getting your brains back or I'm getting dumber." He said, "He must be getting his brains back, because I'm just as smart as before."

Bob's email
Jan's email

Exceptional day...

I was going to post that today was another ho-hum day. But to rephrase that properly, today was an exceptional day. Bob is still alive and kicking. He had a few moments of memory lapse that he thought we were going to Fairmont, MN. But, other than that, we had normal conversations.

Bob doesn't remember anything about how we met or the years we've been together. It's sort of sad, because I think our past is interesting. Positive note: It'll come back.

Bob asked me if I wanted to go for a drive. In the past, we always went for drives - what I know them as is a"Sunday drive". This is the first since his stroke that he brought that idea up. Slowly, but surely, Bob's returning. I told him that he needs more practice. So, he asked me if I want to go for a practice drive. We didn't. Bob played his guitar and sang instead.

A humdrum day...

A new Costco opened today in Roseburg. Woo hoo! Of course, Bob and I had to go. There weren't the massive amount of people there like I thought there would be. It is more organized than other Costcos I've been to. (For those on the east coast, Costco is like Sams Club.)

Bob walked the whole store. He was sweating by the time we finished. I haven't seen him sweat since before his stroke. Since his stroke, he's been colder than me. And, I usually have a sweater on when it's 90 degrees outside.

Nothing special happened today. It was a day of mismatched errands and doing this and that. Sorry, I have nothing spectacular to report.

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It's always good to learn...

I learned something new today. I learned that there is a difference between bales of hay and bales of straw. All you farmers from the Midwest probably think I'm such a dumb a$$.

Anyway, for those of you who don't know the difference, straw is not a food source, but hay is. The subject came up when I saw a bale of something at the edge of our yard. Our yard butts up against a farmers field. I asked Bob why a farmer would put a bale of straw close to our house. The cattle don't wander down the field that far. Bob told me that cows don't eat straw. I asked, "What do the eat?" He said, "Hay." "What's the difference between the two?" He proceeded to tell me that hay is a food source; straw is not. Straw is used to soak up pee and poop; hay is for feeding. "OH" "Magine that." Our rabbits ate straw. Then again, the rabbits ate our furniture too. :-/

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Still more reasons Bob is alive...

We had an exciting day. One thing we did was talk to the preacher in Plover, Iowa. Geez, even though, we both have been married before, there isn't a simple way to keep the ceremony simple, is there? I almost said (I was thinking it), "Let's run off the Vegas to get married and be done with it." Then again, after hearing Bob talk to some of his clients and friends on the phone, I wouldn't deny them the pleasure of seeing Bob in an important ceremony.

We, then, went to the "Music in the Park" and saw some friends who were excited to see Bob. They gave him encouraging words of being thankful he is still alive and here with us. He tells them that he knows how lucky he is to be alive.

I told Bob that when he starts to tell stories of where we traveled to last week (S.D, MN, Chicago), I'm going to shake his head like you shake a TV when it's miss-firing. I said, "maybe I could knock to loose wires back to being connected."

Who's done watching the tryouts for America's Got Talent?

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Don't underestimate....

Bob and I are delving into new territory. We are taking one of the first steps needed to decide about his trading business. It is exciting, but scary at the same time. I've been told that some of the nice people that I've come in contact with, can be "cut-throat" at the same time. It's frightening. I guess that happens in all businesses.


Bob had another good day with memory, walking, and game playing. He plays a "mean" game of backgammon. He tries to fool you though. In the beginning, he says, "Is this how you line the pieces up?" Then, he proceeds to strategically capture my pieces.



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Day to relax...

Church day. I don't know about my t, but that routine of getting up, showering, getting breakfast, going to church, sitting through church, then going home to cook lunch tuckers me out. I waste away the rest of the day. Today, we watched pro golf championship. Can you believe Tiger Woods shot 18 over par? That's an extra shot at each hole! I guess there were too many girls in the crowd. He couldn't focus on the million dollars that awaited the winner. :-)

Bob's memory was ok today, except, when I tried to talk to him about commodity stuff during golf. He kept referring to open trade equity as the amount money each hole is worth in a golf tournament. Hence, I didn't learn anything about commodity stuff.

We worked on a puzzle today, how many words can you get out of the word September that are five letters or more. Bob thought of quite a few good ones like, pester. See, his brain is still there; it just the short-term memory that sucks.

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Good good day...

What makes today any different than other days? Yesterday was frustrating with my t not remembering things. Now, today he remembered most things? Some of his humor is returning too.

I have to remind myself, too, to not talk for him. I've been doing that for a year and a half. I have been his brain for so long, I feel like an "ole bitty" who answers everything a person asks of him, even if the person is looking directly at Bob.

We went to the driving range this evening. We still had a basket of balls to finish up. Zachary helped today. Zachary was working on his placement of the ball by trying to hit a bird that was sitting on the ground. The bird must have had many golfers try the same thing, because it dodged the rolling balls quite well. :-)

Fellow brokers are helping us to solve the problem we are having with finding a new company to take on Bob's business. Once again, the friendships Bob has never ceases to amaze me.

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Another interesting day...

I had another interesting morning. No, I didn't set any alarms off or blow things up. I got a phone call from an attorney to testify at a hearing for a person I tested for Voc Rehab three years ago. The testing I do is to help determine what types of training or careers the client will be successful doing. I do cognitive testing, so, if a person says they want to be a rocket scientist, but they measure an IQ score of 70; then 9.99999999 chances it ain't going to happen.

Anyway, this attorney called me and wanted me at the court house in 45 minutes. Now, mind you, I tested the client 3 years ago, which means, I hadn't look at his report for three years, and I'm in a wheelchair, and when I try to move fast, my body automatically goes slower. Zachary to the rescue!

When I got to the court room, I was given a few minutes to review the client's report. Parts of his reading sucked and parts didn't. The opposing attorney was trying to get me to say that the client was able to understand what he was able to read. What the attorney doesn't understand is there is a lot more to reading than being able to pronounce words. The client was able to sound out words but comprehension was way way low. I told the attorney that I could probably sound out and say words in another language, but would have no clue what it meant. (I don't think that's what he wanted to hear.)

Also, the opposing attorney tried to get me to say that emails that he showed me were written by the client. I said that even though the email came from the client's email address, I didn't know if he wrote it or not. It could have been typed by someone else. Again, not what the attorney wanted me to say.

All in all, I think I did ok. Zachary went with me. He said that would have been tough, because the questions were on-the-spot, and I had to come up with quick answers. No room for fibbing.

When it comes to memory, Bob is getting so angry and frustrated with his. However, he did remember to write some things down today on his "to do" list all on his own.

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I have to stop thinking negatively...

Damn-it. I'm starting to think negatively like the other "doubting Thomas's" around me. Many times today I sighed when Bob said we were in Sioux Falls and argued with me. I know, it's just one day. I'm confident, a year from now, I'll look back at this blog and say, "Imagine that." He was tired. He's even going to let me standing at the alter. :( He told my son that we were getting married here in Roseburg until I said, "Plover". Then, he said, "Oh, that's right."

I looked at pictures of my t that I took a year ago. He had such a look on his face that he had an empty head. Wow, "Imagine that."

Bob is still complaining that his foot is painful. That makes it difficult for him to walk. I guess it's appointment time.

Decision #2...

A few weeks ago I mentioned to keep us in your prayers, because we are faced with times of making life decisions. Decision #1 was to set a date to get married, which we did. That was a good thing. Today, we face decision #2. Bob is ready to return to trading. (We've been getting up at 5:30am every weekday in order for the markets to open at 7am. We've set up mock scenarios for trading, and we've studied the CBOT self-study guide (which Bob receives 100% on most quizzes).) However, the company that Bob does his trading with is not ready for him to return. The decision we need to make is, what to do.

You know, as I type this, the situation reminds me of all the negativity that I've encountered alone this year-long journey. It reminds me of that staff meeting that I went to at the VA where I was livid that everyone claimed that Bob couldn't do anything cognitively. grrr...

One thing Bob said this afternoon is,"Thank goodness I forget things, because I have been doing work with ADMIS for thirty years, and they're telling me to "f***" off. I'm glad I don't remember the phone conversation, because I don't want to be continuously angry." I wish I had that ability. :-)

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Yesterday, OJ, today, smoke alarms...

Oh my heavens, today started like yesterday! Yesterday, the can of OJ concentrate exploded, and this morning, I set the smoke detectors off while cooking breakfast. HA! I tried to open the kitchen window to let some of the smoke out, but it wouldn't open. It seems that Bob and I didn't clean all of the OJ off the window. It became very sticky in the crease of the window. The window became "glued" shut. Nothing like getting the adrenalin flowing?

Pluver, Iowa does have a church, and it so happens to be a Methodist church, which is what Bob is a member. I'm Catholic, but I don't care about the rules. All my concerns are to be wedded to my t in a church's eyes under God.

Mark your calenders for May 14, 2011 in Pluver, Iowa. I don't think you need directions. Pluver's population is 95 people. I'm sure if you drive to the town, then look left and right as you drive down the main street, you'll see the church. I did say I wanted a country church. I don't think you can get more country than that.

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Fermented OJ...

Did you ever have a can of orange juice concentrate explode? I did, this morning. The expiration date on the can was Jan. 2012. My mind was set that the juice concentrate was ok. As I pulled the ring off, the lid popped loudly and OJ flew all over the kitchen. I found it 20 feet away from where I opened it.

I set the can in the sink; it continued to bubble over the sides of the can. The OJ was quite fermented. I have never seen that happen before, have you?

Bob and I decided on Pluver, Iowa as a place to get married. Seeing that the population is 95, I need to do some research to see if there is a church there.

Bob's memory is getting longer; however, he still doesn't know the layout of our house.

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Just another day...

Plugging right along...

We set a wedding day for May 14, 2011. That day close to the same day we met face to face, and it is Bob's new birthday. That is the day he had his brain aneurysm, but lives to tell his story.

Where: I don't know. I want a small country church. Stay tuned.

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OCD?...

I took my own advice and wrote down what I wanted to say in this blog about what happened today. I believe Bob's stroke left him with a little bit of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Bob had a shirt on that had small vertical stripes. At one point in the day, he was looking for a different shirt to change into. When I asked him why he wanted to change, he said, " The stripes are crooked, and it is driving him crazy." I have OCD tendencies about some things. I would consider changing a shirt because of crooked stripes is OCD. My OCD has to deal with having items on a counter being perfectly spaced at equal distances from each other. Also, books need to be arranged on a shelf from tallest to the shortest, and the spines need to be perfectly matched.

Before Bob's aneurysm, my kids and t would secretly move an item on the counter just to watch me align it again with everything on the counter. I wouldn't say anything, I would just do it before being able to do anything else.

I would have to give Bob two thumbs up for his memory today. He was surprised too that he remembered many things that happened earlier in the day. However, for some reason, this afternoon, I found him packing clothes. He thought we were going somewhere for the weekend, so he was taking the time pack a bag. Where did that come from?

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Test your memory at www.luminosity.com (ad to the right, usually) or www.mymsmy.com.

What did I want to say...

Things always happen during the day that I say to myself, "I need to put that on the blogpage." Then, when it's time for me to write the blogpage, I forget what I wanted to inform everyone about. Maybe, I should take my own suggestion that I tell Bob to do everyday, "Write in down."
He writes on a calendar what he does every morning and afternoon. That way, he's able to remind his brain what he did in the morning, because after his afternoon nap, he thinks it's morning again. Then, if he takes a late afternoon nap, he thinks it's morning again when he wakes up. Sometimes, that would be a good thing, if you didn't like how the morning went. :-/

Bob's feet were really "paining" him today. He doesn't feel it's enough to make an appointment with the podiatrist, yet. The pain may be simply from not standing for a year, and then, putting 275 pounds of pressure on them all at once. Most feet gradually adapt to weight gain.

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A day late, but I posted...

Am I bad again? I totally forgot to make a post on this blog last night. What I can say is that Bob is getting better each day. One thing that is frustrating is when I give him a choice to choose from, like food or events to attend, he always says, "I don't know." I always say that wasn't one of the choices. I'm trying to get his brain to use decision skills.

We had a discussion tonight about what put Bob in the hospital last year. He remembers only what I tell him. Bob knows his blood vessel broke in his brain. I elaborated more. We both decided, we wished they videotaped his brain surgery so we could see it. eww...

Bob says his feet are constantly asleep that's why he doesn't walk as much as he should. Interesting.

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Bob's so crazy...

I found out something that Bob did in his younger days. At a friend's wedding, he put cornflakes in the groom's defroster in his car and turned the blower on high, so when the married couple started the car, cornflakes blew all over. Now that's funny.

The temperature was too hot today to do anything outside, so, we didn't exercise; nor did we go to the driving range.

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I'm not helping anymore!...

Alright...my t's brain is close to where it was before his brain aneurysm. We played a game of backgammon. I hadn't played it for at least twenty years, and he didn't remember at all. So, I printed the rules from the Internet. Once we refreshed out memories of how to play, Bob won! Dag-gone-it! I let my guard down thinking I could win, thinking he doesn't have strategy skills, and he "blows me out of the water." That's it. No more nice guy when it comes to games.

Bob did well in all aspects today, except, after his nap this afternoon, he forgot that he had taken a shower and shaved in the morning, ate breakfast, went to church, and then had lunch. weird.

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I fell into a scam...

There's something about having a nice deck and a quiet backyard to be able to enjoy dinner with someone you care about. My t and I ate dinner on our new deck this evening. The kids made most of the dinner, then served it to us. (I wonder what they want? Maybe they were just being nice. hmm...)

I finished my book called "My Personal Medical Information Book". It will be available for purchasing soon. The cost will be $9.50. Stand by...

Bob said to tell everyone that he feels good. He said his brain is a little scattered at times, but other than that, he feels good.

Believe this...I was scammed! Have you ever heard of the mystery shopper? That's where you go to a store to evaluate the employees' customer service, then send your evaluation back to the contact. Before doing that, you deposit a huge check that they sent you into a bank account, wait for it to clear, then send a portion of it back to them by Western Union.

Well, I did just that, but while the check was clearing, I called the company to verify that they were legit. They seemed to have all the right answers to my questions.

The check cleared at the bank, so I sent by Western Union the amount they requested. A few hours later, Western Union called me telling me it was a scam. They sent the money back to me to put back in the bank. Thank goodness for Western Union, otherwise, I would have sent $3000 to someone in New York, and I would have owed the bank that amount too. The scammers forged checks from some other business. I hate to be the CFO of that business.

Lesson learned, "If it seems to good or easy to be true, then it's a scam."

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mysterious...

Woo-hoo! Bob did two laps around the school building tonight. I made it one and a half. Exercise is such a slow but progressive process. After getting fit, Bob drove us home. oooo scary. :-o

Bob is so mysterious. We have conversations about trading using our mock trading contracts. He advised me today to get out of one contract and stay in another. I said I want to make more money. He told me there were no good things to get into today, we need to wait. He looked at many charts and graphs and said again to wait. :-) Then, later, he took a nap. When he awoke, he remembered nothing. We have learned to write things down. It helps to remind my t of what he did during the day. It's funny, before a nap he remembers what he did during his awake time, but after his nap, his day starts all over again. "50 First Dates" (m0vie)

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Happy 15th Birthday Zachary...

I'm a bit early today. I figured, while I check my various emails and facebook page, I'd write about Bob's and my day.

Well, it was a day like most of the others. Bob and I attempted to start the day at 5:30am. Once again, that plan did not work. We rolled out of bed around 6:15am. Why so early? The markets open at 7:15am. Bob needs to get a mindset for trading. He hasn't restarted trading yet, we're treating the day as though he were. He's in bootcamp right now. I need a staff Sergeant yelling at me, "Get up. Get up. No time for laziness." Then, call me names, and possibly drop me on the floor. (Naaa... I doubt if I'd move any faster. For spite, I'd probably move slower.)

Zachary's birthday is today. He's 15. In Oregon, you can get a driver's permit at 15. I should start a driver's school. I not only get to supervise Zachary's driving, but also Bob's. But, you know, first, I have to be willing to relinquish the keys. :-)

Bob walked all through Walmart today using the cart as a walker. He tried to "go solo" by walking back to the car; however, being the frightened mother- figure, I had him hold onto my automatic cart.

Formal exercise has been on our "to do" for a few days. We'll get there. :-) We'll get there.

One step at a time...

Bob is one step closer to getting back to being an active commodities broker. He was "cleared" today by his physician to return to work. Now, he needs to retake the broker's test. I have no concerns about him passing the test. We've studied a book written by the Chicago Board of Trade. Bob has gotten 100% on most of the sub-quizzes. He knows his sh*t.

Finally, we've begun to write everything down that happens during the day and everything that will happen. Bob has conceded to the fact that he must write everything down, if he intends to remember. He has routine tasks committed to memory. New things still fade as hours pass. (Thank goodness memory loss happens after hours instead of minutes, as before.)

I learned something new today. I learned that "ahold" is actually a word. Anytime I've wanted to use that word, I always changed it to "get in touch". "Alot" is not a word. I knew that, but "ahold" is a word. (hahaha.. the spellcheck on this site does not recognize ahold.)

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Cognitive therapy improves...

One thing we do most nights is watch "Wheel of Fortune". Bob has never been able to think fast enough to get one of the puzzles (after his brain aneurysm), until tonight. The couple attempting to solve the final puzzle gave the letters they wanted, then tried to solve the puzzle. The puzzle was a phrase. PA_E T_E _A_ Before the buzzer, Bob said, "PAVE THE WAY". The couple didn't guess it, but Bob did.

Maybe my t got the answer because, his recovery is doing just that-paving the way. He's paving the way for other survivors of ruptured brain aneurysms. He is going down a path that many survivors never get a chance to try. Bob is plowing through the obstacles that so many people have put up as barriers.

We haven't been to the driving range for the past few days. I still have the extra basket of golf balls in the back of my car.

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Normal, normal, normal...

We are having more and more normal days; it's uneventful and quiet. I'm overdue, I must say.

Bob and I are watching movies On Demand. We've been wasting away the whole day doing just that.

We ate all three meals outside on the deck. We were thankful for being able to enjoy the day together. Reminiscing about the past year and where Bob's health was a year ago, is a common topic of conversation with us.

I am also, ever so grateful, to all of Bob's friends, his family, and my family from across the United States who have sent prayers throughout the year. It meant a lot to me, and now that Bob understands, it means a lot to him.

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fewer reminders needed...

My t has gotten down to only needing a few reminders in a day. Most times, reminders are needed when he is really tired or when he has been reading something. When he's reading, his brain puts him in the location or situation, and his brain makes him believe that's his present location or situation. My t comes into reality quickly though. I think what brings him into reality is my screwed up face that I make and my laugh, because sometimes what he says is so funny.

Bob didn't want to go to the driving range today. We took a break from exercising as well. Hey, it's Friday. I did a lot of lolligagging today. I gave myself permission to have the day off.

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Golf again...

We went to the driving range again today. Bob hit less than half of what he did yesterday. Yes, need you ask? I brought the basket of balls back home. Do I sound cheap? That $8.00 basket of golf balls will last a few more practice sessions. :-)

Bob's memory was great today. When he asks me if we are going somewhere located in the Midwest, all I have to say is "noooo...", and Bob response with, "Oh, that's right, we're in Oregon on the west coast." :-)

Bob is walking so much better. Watching the video of him golfing yesterday helped him to see what he needs to correct. Golfing today, exercised his back muscles.

My book titled My Personal Medical Information Book (original) is almost finished. I'm a perfectionist, so it needs a few adjustments. Aunika says it's fine. I see flaws. It takes a few weeks for ISBN numbers to arrive, anyhow.

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Golf outing...

Today was a much better day than yesterday. Yesterday, there were too many opinionated disagreements. And, of course, I was always right. (Isn't that's how it's supposed to be in a relationship?)

I took Bob for his first golf practice session in 14 months. He has all of the techniques still there, he just needs to work on back flexibility.

We got a whole bucket of golf balls, but could only hit 15-20. That's good for the first session after a brain anerysm. We illegally brought the bucket of balls home. We are going back tomorrow for a second outing. We'll take them back then. I didn't think we needed to waste another $8.00 on 20 golf balls, when there are 100 in the bucket.

We were at the driving range for about an hour to an hour and a half. That was good exercise for the waist. Bob is going to be sore tomorrow.

Exercise, memory...

Oh my goodness; I am pooped. Bob and I walked around the sidewalks of a local elementary school. We made it three-quarters of the way around one section before I had to sit. Then, we made it back to the car. We plan on doing that every evening for exercise, if anyone would like to join. We have a good measure of how far we can go. I'm not sure when I'll be able to exercise for endurance. My challenge first, is strength. And, that goes for Bob too. Our fitness level is definitely at point zero. :-(

Bob's memory never seizes to amaze me. We were talking about the ID numbers that are given to clients when they become clients. The numbers are five digit. Bob has memorized and can recall all of his active client's ID numbers. Again, the brain baffles me.

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Recall exists...

Well, I think Bob is serious this time about asking me to marry him. He has remembered that he asked for two days now. We discussed when (what year). I was thinking, far future, maybe after Zachary graduates high school, but he told me, "This year." Instantly, I was stressed. The day we met face-to-face was May 9th. I thought that would be a good day. So, when I told him that day has already passed, he said, "It doesn't matter what day it happens, let's just do it this year." AAAhhhh....I'm stressed.

We had a relaxing day at the river. The dogs went swimming with Aunika and Zachary. Well, Bentley waded up to his ankles. He won't go any deeper. If the kids try to pull him in deeper, he looks at me as if to say, "Mom, look what they're doing to me!"

Coupe's different. He's like the kid who is first in the water. As soon as he sees the water, he runs full speed towards it and leaps in.

Bob has been using my wheelchair as a walker. I'm using the wheelchair still. Not as often, however. I don't think the new medicine that I'm taking is working as quickly as it did when I first started to take it in May. But, I'll continue. I have enough for one year.

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