ONE YEAR

It has been one year since Bob has been home from his 10 1/2 month hospital stay. My how time flies. The past year flew by faster than the year before. Bob had a one year checkup on Friday. His CT Scan shows no blood on the brain and no pressure. All of his blood work is normal. His blood pressure good. The doctor advised him to lose weight. Which Dr. hasn't? Anyway, if he loses weight, his blood pressure problem may go away. He is on a very small dose of blood pressure medicine, so exercise may correct that. I told Bob that he has no more excuses for not exercising or eating right or being forgetful. I still look back at what all of the medical professional said. Their doubts of Bob's recovery were "for the birds". I never doubted Bob's recovery for one minute. Call it denial or what you want, but Bob is here; that's what I know!

Don't forget the camera...

I've never have been much of a picture taker person. When my kids were growing up, I always forgot the camera for special events. I'm not going to be so forgetful anymore.

I've found another real good reason to take pictures.

Bob doesn't remember too much about the last 4 years being with me. He knows everything before that time. :( I took him to the coast yesterday to jog his memory on stuff that we've done over the past four years. We went to the Harley store. Once we got there, he remembered he bought his motorcycle there. He also remembered some of the people and where they sat at their desks.

We went to a variety of Capes to look at the sea lions. Previously, he was always amazed at seeing sea lions in the wild. He remembered those places too.

But, showing pictures to someone with "amnesia" is a perfect reason to not forget the camera before a catastrophic event happens.

And the dilemma goes on...

I'm still debating in my head about giving up my life's passion of education verses making money. What a debate, right? I've been in education for so long, and I'm good at it. Heavens, I have an Ed. D. Of course, I know a lot. However, what educator makes a lot of money. Some do; however, there are 100 times that many that don't. The saying goes, "If I wanted to make money, I wouldn't be a teacher." Or, "I want to teach children to learn. I'm not in it to make money."

So...my entire life doesn't have to revolve around teaching. I can still teach my online class. I can still tutor. I can still consult. I can still write.

There...my debate is done. Time for a full-out career change.

I've been studying still to take the broker's test. By listening to Bob talk to clients, asking him lots of questions, and taking a four week online class that is teaching trading, I'm getting closer to being able to take the test.

Bob is continuing to recover. We are in the process of planning the details of our wedding. I think he has cried everyday about it. Joyful tears. Of course. He is such an emotional person. He's so sweet.

Concrete vs. Abstract...

As I study to become a commodities broker, I'm finding that there are more details that will drive me insane, if nothing else. I'm finding that I'm a severely logical person. I am concrete. There is nothing abstract about my thinking whatsoever. I remember at one point in my college career, I took a personality survey. The result said I am a concrete sequential thinker. My guess would be that a commodities broker would not be on the list of potential careers for me. ;-)

Bob tries to explain things to me. He does a great job; however, trading is not a science, so any kind of explanation doesn't penetrate my logical brain. He just grins and says positively, "You'll get it."

Physically and mentally, Bob gets stronger everyday. When I look back at last Christmas, Bob is 300% better. He's such a miracle.

crossing fingers...

I think I'm going to have to post something on this blog more frequently than once a week. I feel like I'm leaving my readers hanging in midair with nothing to read.

Bob did well this past week. We are studying for him to take a branch manager's test on Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed that he passes. When that is done, then it's time for me to study for the broker's test. I'll take you on that journey. I can tell you, what I've learned so far is that the world evolves around a bunch of people making guesses. Right or wrong, doesn't matter. I think they are educated guesses, but maybe not. I have to learn the "waiting" time length after the guess.

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Bob and I are alike in more ways...

As I read a national MS (Multiple Sclerosis) magazine today, I realized that Bob and I are "in the same boat" on some health issues. Bob had an attack on his brain, and MS attacks parts of the brain that prohibits signals to go to the muscles. For example, he has a neurological health problem and so do I. Sometimes, cognitively, our brains don't work well. Bob's is slow on memory, and my memory to come up with words sometimes doesn't work well either. My memory isn't as extensive as his, but it's similar.

We both get tired easily. At times, I'd like to contribute that to age, however, I'm not even 50 yet. I get tired, because I have to work so hard to get my muscles to move. Bob has to work hard too, because he laid for so long, and he has drop-foot, which requires him to lift his left leg higher when he walks.

A glimpse to reality...

Bob is recovering miraculously. He survived an event that most people don't live through to talk about. Funny thing is, Bob lived through it, but can't talk about it either. :-/

Even though I've portrayed things as being back to normal, let me give you some downsides. I keep saying Bob's memory is getting better each day. Well, it is; however, he can't remember to take his medicine each day; he doesn't remember where our bedroom is (most days); he doesn't remember where the bathroom is (he asks where it is just about every time.); he hasn't remembered our address, and he doesn't remember how to do basic tasks. I need to retrain him on how to do things; which is ok, I can train him how I want things done, and he doesn't question me or give me a suggestion on how to do the task differently. (I bet all the females reading this are jealous!) He calls Zachary "Joe or Isaac", and sometimes thinks my son is visiting for the weekend.

Bob doesn't remember most of our conversation, though, the conversations are educated and nice while they are going. Bob knows he doesn't remember. He tries so hard and is determined to remember; he just can't. It will come. I know it will. I haven't given up. You know me- Will I give up? No.

The light bulb burns brighter...

I can't wait for the day that the light bulb lights up in Bob's head and stays lit. Every time he remembers things, I let my guard down and relax, then I start a conversation like nothing is wrong, and Bob forgets where he's at, argues with me about how long he's been in Oregon, and whose house we live in. :-(

But...but....but....he knows each of his client's account numbers frontwards and backwards. So, I can't wait for that one section of his brain that got zapped extra hard, recovers.

You know though, when I look back at how far Bob has come just since he's been home from May until now, just five months, he's a whole different person. He had a memory that lasted only minutes after learning something new, and talking to him was like talking to a blank wall. Now, he talks back and doesn't have a blank look on his face. :-) If you didn't know any better, you'd never guess anything happened so devastating.

Arguing can be simple...

What a day! Today was Bob's (and my) first day back to work as a commodities broker. We only had one massive argument. I think that is a first for us. But you know...I was right and I wasn't backing down! typical woman

Bob apologized when he knew I was right. Arguing could be a simple thing if Bob would have just agreed with me from the beginning. That would have saved a lot of grief. I've heard that's not an instinct that the male human species possesses.

I'm ready for bed. Looks like exercising is a "no go" for today.

I see I see...

Bob just had a light bulb turn on above his head! He thought we had to go to downtown Chicago to pick Zachary up at band practice. When I told him we were in Roseburg, Oregon on the west coast, his eyes widened like the light bulb went on in his head. :-)

That's an everyday conversation with us. It can get frustrating at times. It's frustrating because one minute my t knows everything, and then the next minute he's off in tim-buck-too. Go figure.

I wrote the neuro-research at OHSU to see if they could use Bob as a case study. I'll keep you updated with the response.

Exercise? What's that?...

What is so hard about exercising while sitting in a chair? Rather, I should say, "What is so hard about fitting strength training exercises into a daily routine while sitting in a chair all day?" IT'S NOT, BUT I DON'T.

Dag-nabbit, I have full intentions the night before to incorporate exercise into my day starting the following day. Before you know it, the day in done, I'm pooped, and ready for bed saying the same thing..."Tomorrow, I WILL exercise!"

Bob says the same thing. I can easily be swayed by his decision to not exercise when he says, "Later" or "Not right now".

I had my spirits lifted again a few days ago. I read an article about a girl who fell from a barn loft and was in a coma with a brain injury. After regaining consciousness. she had to reteach herself everything, just like Bob. She had short-term memory, just like Bob. She retrained her brain just like all the rest of her muscles. It took a few years, but she is back to 100%. The medical staff didn't think she would regain much. She surprised the heck out of them, just like Bob is doing.

Same ole' same ole'...

We are getting closer to the day Bob starts back to being "Commodities Broker", with me by his side. I'm getting nervous. Bob has thirty years as a broker under his belt and knows so much; I know nothing. He's trying to teach me. He tells me I'll learn it the more I'm around it.

There is a conference in Chicago that we are going to venture to. Now, that makes me nervous! I know we'll be fine. Bob's memory is better; he just forgets immediately new information unless it is important. I need to enforce writing things down with him.

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Career choices...

I'm so happy for my t that he's able to get back to doing what he loves and knows the most about, being a commodities broker. Why? We went to the college where I teach. As we walked across the campus, I said, "Now, this is me. This is where I'm supposed to be. I was made to teach at the collegiate level."

A few years ago, I started teaching classes online, because it was too difficult for me to stand in front of a classroom full of students to teach. It's also too hard to sit in a wheelchair to teach. I like to be towering over the students. I guess it shows authority; I'm in charge. Anyway, I miss teaching face-to-face classes. Yes, I'm still teaching; it's not the same. That's why I'm glad Bob is able to get back to what he loves doing.

My career is taking another turn. I get to be a commodities broker too. I will continue with my online teaching. I get to expand my horizons from logical/concrete information to abstract/guessing information. If you see me looking totally baffled, buy me a rtiff alcoholic beverage.

Bob helped with the yard work today. I've written several articles about safety issues while doing yard work. The first thing on the safety list is to get a physical from a physician who will give the A-OK to do physical labor. A person doesn't realize how strenuous yard work is. You wouldn't go out to run a marathon without training, so do some training during the winter months to get in shape for endurance and strength.

Bob has not done anything remotely strenuous for 16 months. I made him stop weed-eating, because I thought he was going to pass out. He was turning green. He said he was dizzy. It's a start, though. Little by little...

All of Zachary's results came back negative. His illness is frustrating. He is obviously sick. He can't fake the black circles under his eyes, the mucus caked in his eyes, the red eyes, or the lack of appetite because of being nauseous. Maybe I should try herbs. Do the nature thing.

Bob's memory is so frustrating too. One day he's right on, then the next day, he's lousy. He's great in the morning, but by evening, he doesn't even know where our bedroom is. goofy

More crying...

What an emotional day again. We decided to visit the nursing staff at the VA in Roseburg. The last time we went, many of the staff members who took care of Bob were not working. They were there today. Bob walked in pushing me in my wheelchair. We heard, "Look, the king pushing the queen!" Staff started gathering around us. Oh my goodness...Bob was crying. I was crying because Bob was crying. The nurses were crying. We were blubbering fools.

We saw Shannon. She was the nurse in the video to the right>>> who took Bob on as her own project. She was the one who got Bob strong enough to walk for the first time after seven months.

One new nurse was Bob's nurse when he was at Rosehaven. The last she saw him, he wasn't eating too much on his own yet. His brain was still trapped, and he wasn't aware of too much of his surroundings. She was sobbing to see Bob's recovery. She couldn't talk.

The head nurse practitioner said, "I love seeing success stories." (Remember, she was one of the staff that had no faith and felt that Bob wasn't going to recover too much more mentally than the level he was in October '09?) I responded by saying, "I had no doubt!" She said, "No, you never did give up."

Priorities...

Sorry I didn't post a blog last night. Dancing with the Stars started another season. Being an ex-ballroom dancer, I couldn't miss a minute!

Zachary had his CAT Scan done yesterday. We haven't heard about the results yet. I believe they were checking for ulcers again and looking at the swollen lymph nodes in his back to see if there is an infection somewhere in his body.

We got the school situation under control. Zachary is able to do his Math, Science, English, Language Arts, German, and Designing Games online, then take Concert band and Percussion in public school. Thank goodness that has been resolved. I'm glad of that, because he would have missed school all last week because of being sick.

Bob's memory was "on" for the past two days, except where we live. I suppose we need to move so he'll get our location correct...NOT!

Success...

100% success! All of our jars of tomato puree sealed. We are good! We only did 22 jars; that was four boxes of tomatoes. That is enough for now. That won't be enough for the year; it'll have to due.

Today was church day. I tried to convince Bob to skip one day, since we had an exhausting day yesterday of canning. He wouldn't budge. So, we gathered ourselves up out of bed to traipse off to church.

Zachary is excited that Bob and I are able to go to the store by ourselves. He no longer has to tag along to help with wheelchairs. Bob and I have the wheelchair thing down to a science. We both lift it into the car together. Sometimes, Bob even does it by himself!

This and that and another thing...

Tomorrow we are going to tackle canning tomatoes. Last year was the first year in 30 years that I missed canning tomatoes, and boy did I miss home-canned tomatoes for spaghetti sauce. Canning is going to be a challenge, because neither of us has the endurance to stand very long. I believe we will puree everything instead of canning whole tomatoes. I usually can 40 or more quart jars. I doubt that that will happen tomorrow. Zachary's going to help.

Bob is beginning to give me a hard time about exercising. He even refuses to do simple flexibility exercises. I'm not sure why. He needs to exercise, because his eating is starting to get out of control.

A surprise visit to Rosehaven...

We made a surprise visit to Rosehaven nursing facility today. Bob was in Rosehaven for eight weeks last year in July and August. When he arrived there, he had his trach still in, he could not swallow yet, and he could not sit up on his own.

We first went directly to the exercise room. Bob was pushing me in my wheelchair. The staff were each working with individual residents. When they recognized Bob, everyone stopped and immediately came over to Bob with huge smiles. It made Bob giddy. The therapists took Bob on a tour to show him all of the equipment that he worked on. Of course he doesn't remember a thing.

Many of Bob's nurses and his speech therapist came to greet him as well. The nurses were emotional. One began to cry.

As always, Bob was very appreciative and thanked everyone of them. He hates it that he can't remember any of the past year. The speech therapist told him, "That is what pictures and Jan's blogpage are for-to tell you about your journey. We all don't remember things that we've done when we were little, but people tells us, and we just accept it as real. That's what is happening with you. No big deal."

When we got back home, I showed Bob all of the pictures I took while he was at Rosehaven hoping he could make a little connection.

Did you get your Personal Medical Information Book yet?

Update on Zachary...

I haven't updated you on the well-being of my son, Zachary. We are still trying to come up with a diagnosis for his on-going fatigue, gook in his eyes, and clogged sinuses. The doctor ordered more tests. He's being tested for celiac disease-allergy to wheat. It's seems like he gets deathly ill with stomach pains and migraines after eating anything with wheat in it. The doctor also ordered a CAT Scan of his swollen lymph nodes in his back, another test for a stomach ulcer, and a test for some kind of bacteria that I can't remember or pronounce.

Bob is well. He knows now that he doesn't have good memory. He tries so hard though to recall, but can't. Also, his walking is getting smoother and quicker.

Did you order your Personal Medical Information Book yet?